That train right there is passing you know? It’s leaving from here to a special place. The young woman aboard is traveling along too. She’s reaching forward and planning her great escape.
Escape? What is there a fugitive on the train? That was my initial thoughts as I listened in more closely to the old man.
A freeflowing woman who loves to explore and travel. I will be among the ones who will surely miss her, he continued.
No one could ever term her as a settler. Life definitely called her differently. It pulled at her from so many angles. One day she would wake up so pleasant with our lives that we created and the next she would be silent and reflective. She would grant me a half hearted smile half the time but I knew her soul longed to explore life apart from me. I just knew it!
I listened in more to the elderly man as he described his love. Every word he expressed was somehow giving me clarity on my own life. I just sat back and listened. I figured I shouldn’t bother him with my questions but should just let him flow his lifestory in words and all the heavy emotions that flowed from it. After his last statement, he paused. It almost seemed as if he was calculating over everything.
So one day I told her that I would pay her way. I would grant her freedom. That’s all she really wanted was freedom like she never had before. No attachments to the past, future, town, people, obligations or anything- she just always wanted her complete freedom.
I didn’t know what quite to say after hearing the old man express that. On one hand you could see intense pain in his voice as he spoke but then also his eyes and his nature had loving tones as he mentioned her. Everything communicated while he spoke, that this was a woman he deeply loved. Although I didn’t even know her, his story built a mythical nomadic woman almost in my mind. She sounded like a woman he would love for the rest of his life. You could definitely feel the intensity. He had sadness, pain and deep love all mixed in as he shared about his Charms.
I was terrified to lose the best thing that ever happened to me. Everything I ever wanted and yet I knew too great of a woman for me. A gift of indeed complicated value. She made everyday so beautiful for me and yet I could see a strangeness that somehow I couldn’t do for her what she brought to me- Life! Love! Joy! & Happiness! I wasn’t enough for her. With knowing that I wasn’t enough I believe I died a little more inside as well from that.
One day after seven months of enduring and seeing that in her eyes and soul everyday. I asked her…”Charms baby! How can I make you well again?” You don’t enjoy singing no more. You don’t like gardening anymore. You don’t like the sound of the trumpets and jazz singers no more. None of your loves do you continue to love. What can I do to make you well, baby?”
Oh my goodness! She began to be that bad off? She stopped liking everything? She just faded out?
I had to ask questions now. It seemed like she was experiencing a form of death or worse. He then looked up into my eyes and his eyes displayed such hope as he then spoke.
Live.Love & Learn